Impulse vs compulsion
Posted May 25, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Just a quickie during lunch (really more of a placeholder for later).
This may be a bit of a duh, but it occurs to me that it’s worth thinking about the differences between impulses and compulsions.
For example, I consider that I’ve been pretty much on track since Sunday. That makes today day 5. However, I had to really think about whether or not to count yesterday, as I was at Ruby Tuesday’s last night for dinner. I was looking at the Smart Eating section of their menu, and was waffling between ordering something more healthy (like the petite sirloin with just 8 grams of fat) or less (the Church Street Chicken with 31 grams of fat).
Yep, I went with the chicken. And you know what? It was really good :).
Now, I count yesterday as on track, because while it wasn’t as healthy as I could have ordered, it wasn’t horrible. Yep, I had a little bacon and some cheese with my chicken, but I also had broccoli, mushrooms, and brown rice with a tomato garnish. Not exactly a Big Mac and fries!
Ultimately, what I did was give in to an impulse; I meant to order something more healthy, but when confronted with a choice (two supposedly “healthy” option with more or less fat), I chose the less healthier of the two options. Yeah, I know that it isn’t that “bad,” but on the other hand, I’m off for vacation for a week. I could have banked those calories!
What this wasn’t was a compulsion. The impulse was “hey, this looks yummy, let’s eat that.” Which is just like the eating good stuff at a party, stopping into the bakery when you walk by, etc.
This, to me, is considerably different from my more problematic behavior, which involves doing something that you know is pretty much harmful (stuffing yourself with a whole pizza or drinking a whole bottle of wine followed by a whole crapload of Chinese food). That’s compulsive. And for almost a month, I was really having difficulty stopping. Seems to me that both need to be worked on.
BTW, Susan had an interesting comment earlier this week which is on the same kind of topic:
I feel that binges arise from one thing — deprivation. Deprivation and insatiability go hand. When you are depriving yourself of something you really want and you finally get it, you want as much of it as you can get before it’s taken away again.
I think compulsive eating and bingeing are two very different things. I only binge when I’m trying to diet and starve my body. I eat compulsively when I’m not taking care of myself emotionally. You can’t feed a feeling with food, but I think when I get to urge to eat when I’m not physically hungry or continue eating at a meal when I’m already satisfied, it’s because I’m trying not to feel something.
I don’t know that I agree that compulsive eating and bingeing are two different things. But I see her point about different origins for these behaviors.
May 25th, 2006 at 4:32 pm
I have compulsive behaviors that arent “binges” all the time. These things for me mostly evolve around thinks like, swiping a spoonful of a leftover as I package it and put it in the frigde, stealing a slice of cheese and/or lunchmeat when I make my hub’s sandwich for the next day, swiping half a bagel and cream cheese from meeting leftovers at work, or helping myself to the candy on someone’s desk. I also have been known to binge when I am not “dieting,” but usually it is because I feel emotionally deprived (I worked hard today, my husband is late, I’m tired, I didn’t like my lunch or dinner).
I think you’re right, you made an impulsive not compulsive decision, but it WAS mindful. My therapist teaches that we should think about what we feel like eating by imagining how certain foods feel at that moment. Do I want rice cakes and a salad with lemon? a broccoli and cheese omelet? Fried oreos? When we become in tune with what our body wants, it almost always becomes the most nutritious, which is probably what that chicken was, despite the higher fat content. You listened to your body and gave it what it needed. Way to go!
May 26th, 2006 at 12:32 am
I agree with Librarian that making an impulsive decision for something that may seem less healthy is not as “bad” as it might sound. We’re not “on diets” here, and a small indulgence now can be the equivalent of letting off steam rather than building up to a major incident.
I’m glad to say that I’ve never felt genuinely compelled to binge, but on the other hand I can also say that every time I did binge, I knew when I should and could stop and chose not to. I know what Susan meant by “trying not to feel something” — it’s been demonstrated in the lab that fats and/or sugars trigger soothing neurochemicals. Any critter can get hooked on those feelings.
Heck, I spent a year trying to switch my cat to raw food, but he won’t give up the high-fat, chemical-filled commercial stuff.
May 26th, 2006 at 6:55 am
It occured to me while reading this, that I never have an impulse to do something GOOD. Like, I’m never just sitting around and think “Hey, I should get up and do some sit-ups!” or “Wow, I have an uncontrollable urge to have half a slice of whole wheat toast, an orange and a quarter cup of low-fat cottage cheese for breakfast!”
Stupid brain.
May 26th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
I’m glad you went for the chicken. Often times the “healthy” choice isn’t too tasty. I feel much less deprived if I order what really hums to me and eat half of it than if I order the “low calorie” dish and eat the whole thing and still end up feeling somewhat gypped because it wasn’t what I really wanted. I know I ordered wrong if I end up gazing longingly at everyone else’s choices.
May 27th, 2006 at 12:48 am
You know, I never thought of it this way- I always assumed I was over eating- but after reading this I think there IS a difference and I eat compulsively. Sometimes I can be in tears and be miserable while eating something and just can’t stop. Something to think about- thanks.