“Personal responsibility” is indeed simple, in a complex, Zen sort of way. (Grin.) At the end of the day, it’s just you. You decide what you are going to do, or not do. And it really is that simple. (Not easy, usually, but simple.)

From my own experience, I think listening to most talk radio, even a lot of the programming that’s advertised as religion-related, leads to a very sour, negative outlook. I don’t recommend it.

Rejuvenate Your Spirits

Been feeling stressed out after watching or reading the news lately? A “news fast” – avoiding news on the television, newspaper or the Internet for a few days or even a week – may help renew your spirits. It is a good way to gauge how you react to and process news, and how the news affects you.

If it seems outlandish, consider the following:

* Both local and national network news have increased their emphasis on crime, even as U.S. crime rates continue to decline. This is particularly true of local news.

* Studies show that violence, death and other negative images can provoke changes in mood and aggravate anxiety, sadness and depression.

* Feelings of depression and sadness can lead to a negative view of your own life.

Perceiving the world as violent, unsafe and hostile can have negative effects on your body, as well. By taking a news fast, you can develop a more conscious relationship with the media – and promote greater mental calm within yourself. When you spend more time in harmonious mental states, your body will function better, and anxiety and over-stimulation may be minimized. Give it a try!

I think the point that Wayne Dyer adds to this is that it isn’t just the news that can have a negative effect.

For me, thinking of it as math (energy in == energy out) is really worthwhile. Since feeling good is a priority, I at least try and think about the kind of energy I’m bringing into my life.

Now, I’m not chomping down raw onions (yet) and I still prefer Corn Chex for breakfast… but I’m better, I’m off the sugar rollercoaster and my appetite has actually shrunk a bit.

Though travelling, and especially going to carnivals, still makes me crave the evil stuff. Just as a treat.

I’m not at all saying that personal recovery isn’t a factor (after all, I tend to ascribe a lot to the Rational Recovery concept that we do have a lot of control over our hands and our mouths). But I am saying that it isn’t enough.

You can be responsible as all get out but unknowingly doing something that works against you.

Why I’m lucky is that I no longer feel like I’m spinning my wheels. And IMO, while taking responsibility may have been a necessary first step, it wasn’t sufficient. Finding something that worked with me, rather than against me was the critical factor.

And what used to work against me was dieting. And thinking I could eat low-fat foods like fat-free cookies and rice cakes without a negative consequence. And thinking I could get away without a concern for things like vitamins and minerals and phytonutrients (especially as I get older :).

What I’m excited about in terms of what I’ve been doing is not so much that I’m finally acting like a grown-up and taking responsibility for my choices, though that was part of it. I’m excited that it’s a lot less work if I eat this way. I don’t have to white knuckle through a birthday party at work or agonize about what to eat at a restaurant. I stick with the way I’m eating because when I do, the urge to overeat is really lessened, and better yet, I’m feeling good, both physically and emotionally.

And that’s why this was relevant to the original question (”what got you to the moment when overeating ended and the new lifestyle began?”) — in other words, how I knew this time was different.

Personal responsibility may have gotten me started, but it’s personal power (I like this concept!) that’s keeping me going. And that, to me, is the difference.

To add to the background of where my take on the subject is, I volunteer in a women’s federal prison. These women all, eventually, ‘get it’ that the judge or the pusher or the boyfriend didn’t put them where they are. They did it, and they can either do the time or let the time do them.

I think — hope! — we’re all talking about the same thing.

I too was going to comment on the “personal responsibility” comment above, because the notion of “personal responsibility” is loaded with blame, and that really frustrates any kind of analysis of what’s going on, what’s driving the various components that are creating a particular situation – and also frustrates any analysis of what circumstances can even (or should) be adjusted. Not to get preachy, I am just very, very uncomfortable with these one-dimensional, oversimplified (to my mind) prescriptions.

The other thing is, backing up, what is a light bulb moment, exactly? So many dieters are looking, I think, for a magical moment when they will, finally, want it bad enough to really do it, all the way. But that’s not what you experienced, am I right? You experienced a desire for something real, something you could enjoy almost immediately, not just thinness which can only come “one day” – if at all! And to me, THAT’s a lightbulb moment.

Again, thanks for the very thoughtful post, and for sharing so much about yourself here.

So actuallly, part of what I’m trying to express here is that it may not be so much about being a “grown-up,” it may be about realizing that there could be things that are working against you.

For example, we’re not all alike, but I really think that the more we learn about carb metabolism, the more we’ll learn how some things that are supposed to be “good” for us (like rice cakes) might actually cause cravings and overeating.

Secondly, while I don’t subscribe to all the tenets of the fat acceptance movement, I agree that working from a philosophy of “I’m no good until I’m thin” is perilous. The whole Zen/Eckhart Tolle concept of the only thing there is is “now,” and by focusing on some mythical future, we wind up putting off our feeling good in the moment.

What I like about my approach is that I feel good now. In fact, I’ve been amused by the fact that though the world thinks I’m still really, really fat, I’ve never felt better…because I’ve made this connection about how what I do directly affects how I feel.

Also, like my it’s a marathon, not a sprint post suggests, this has been a journey. When I started, I had so little energy that I tried to find the healthiest takeout I could, and I ate a lot of soup (which I doctored with lots more veggies and lean protein).

Now, I cook a lot more, but not as much as I would like to. In a year, who knows? I could be giving Rachael Ray a run for her money :).

Anyways, I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m saying that they just need to “accept responsibility” (and I’m not saying that’s what you think Debbi…the phrase just pushed a button!). What I think is that we’re all being sold an “eat less and exercise more” bill of goods.

So I guess instead of thinking it’s an issue of personal responsibility, maybe I’m saying it’s worth looking at it as an issue of personal power. And that working to take your power back may be the way out of the kind of “banging your head against the wall” kind of overeating/dieting/shame life that I was mired in.

Bean