Comments on: Life at 350 plus

By: NK Shapiro

NK Shapiro — Mon, 13 Mar 2006 20:38:01 +0000

I found you via BigFatBlog.com, and having read this post, want to congratulate you on your honesty. When I was experiencing all these things, I really wouldn’t have wanted to talk about them so openly; somehow keeping schtum about it let me imagine that it wasn’t quite real. But it surely was.

Like you, I don’t think I experienced blatant discrimination or much rudeness directly related to my size (though there were incidents on planes and other public transport once in a while), but it was the sheer exhaustion of moving through the world at 150lb overweight that made me miserable all the time.

By: Mary

Mary — Sun, 27 Nov 2005 20:32:02 +0000

Dear Beth: You deserve kudos for having the guts to do something about your situation. At my heaviest (186), I didn’t have nearly the number of problems you had. I do remember dreading summer, though, because of the chafing thighs. And if the temperature was more than 20C, I didn’t go out if it wasn’t absolutely necessary; the heat finished me. I made my own wrap-around skirts in order to accommodate weight gains. It’s true: “Normal-sized” people do not think of the logistics of everyday life for the obese. I give you all the credit for your courage and send you a virtual hug. Hope life continues to get better for you.

By: Nikki

Nikki — Thu, 17 Nov 2005 14:14:39 +0000

Thanks for being so honest. The media, save Oprah and she’s forgetting, has no idea what it’s like to be fat. It isn’t an external oppression, it’s internal. The cause is not clearly identifiable like using drugs. Nor is it a condition in which you can feel empathy for yourself because you are too busy feeling guilty for being there in the first place.

I didn’t see the shows, but I wonder why they didn’t talk about how hard it was to talk or wear a skirt and sit in public, or bend over to pick up a piece of paper that fell. Those are the embarrasing things.

As a fat person, I’ve already insulated and numbed myself from the world. Even if people were treating me different I wouldn’t recognize it because I was too busy covering it up.

By: neca

neca — Thu, 17 Nov 2005 13:09:34 +0000

“Just one more day” is probably the most self-destructive thing I say to myself!

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Thu, 17 Nov 2005 12:04:38 +0000

I have been treated badly by other people but I couldnt’ say whether that was because of my weight or because of the way I felt about myself. Also I think I don’t deal with certain situations – esp confrontational ones – I think that it isn’t so much that my deal isn’t a symptom of my weight but the other way around. Eating becomes a coping mechanism.

I so know what you mean about booth seating. I still have to eye off booths and mentally do the – will I fit? thing. And if I did fit, having rolls of flab resting on the table! Yikes. The other thing that used to cause me endless anguish was when I was studying – sitting at those seats with the flip over desk bit. No way was that thing going to flip over on me.

Thanks for sharing this great post.

By: Debra

Debra — Thu, 17 Nov 2005 03:53:21 +0000

Great post, Beth. Very open and provocative. I haven’t had the kinds of problems you describe except that at my top weight (around 262 at 5’5″) I was just barely able to buckle the seatbelt on a plane trip I took at that time. Ugh. I thought that was it for me, but I managed to hem and haw and delay and noodle around for months after that. That “one more day” thing is a killer. As far as how other people treat me, I can honestly say I’ve never, ever noticed anyone treating me badly because of my weight except for myself, of course.