I was doing some cleaning Monday night (it’s my exercise), and came across an old article I’d saved from Yoga Journal on meditating using the Buddha’s Five Remembrances.

I was getting ready to toss it, but in scanning, I re-read the remembrances and was struck by the relevance of the last one in my current situation. I encourage you to read the entire article, but wanted to highlight the actual remembrances (these are Thich Nhat Hanh’s version; the emphasis is mine):

I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.

I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.

I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.

All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.

My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

This last remembrance may go right up there with Abe Lincoln’s “when I do good, I feel good.” The difference for me between the two is that the latter is more about the quality. The former is more about a different principle that relates to stuff I’ve discussed here in the past, particularly responsibility and inertia.

The only thing we can do is act.

I’ve been there with the best of them going round and round in my mind about how it’s not fair, about how long it’s going to take me to lose this weight, how I can’t imagine life without all the crap I used to eat, how my skin is going to sag to the ground if I’m successful.

But that won’t get me anywhere. It won’t motivate me to do anything positive; in fact, it’s usually more the opposite.

So what this says is that the little kernel of awareness I had last May (when I had fallen way off track and no longer had my big conference as a motivator) may have something going for it. It sucks, but the only thing you can do is do something about it.

To me, the law of inertia says that it’s hardest at the beginning and that you must do something to change the direction. The law of “responsibility” (who knew such a thing existed?) says that I have to fully accept that I’m the one who has to do this.

For a long time, I’d let both inertia and my hope that someone else would “rescue me” go on and on, until I was pushing 400 lbs. Now that I’m under 300, and still doing well, I want to be able to come back to this post in the event I go off track again. I’m not sure it’s a good road map, but I screwed up and didn’t write down the directions the first time!

The only thing I can do is act.