Has this ever happened to you? You go on a diet, and at some point relatively early on, you have the sweets dream. In mine, this usually involves a buffet of treats, something you’d find at the best restaurant brunch. And of course, in my dream, I’m inhaling all types of sugar.

I’ve always attributed these kinds of dreams to either a psychological or physiological withdrawal symptom. Given this, the dream I had over the weekend was a real shock.

I dreamt I turned down chocolate cake.

And it was good cake :). I had this dream just days after watching an episode of America’s Test Kitchen that featured an awesome chocolate sheet cake (registration required). There’s no picture with the recipe, but trust me, the cake in my dream was exactly like it.

Anyways, so I recall having this hunk of cake being put in front of me, and actually having that same old dialogue (“oh, just this once”, “it looks too good”, and so on), but in the end, I dipped a finger in the icing, took a quick taste, and then pushed it away.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop (or is that, to begin sliding back down the slippery slope). But then part of me notices that things are really different this time.

It’s going to be interesting to see. I said goodbye to my therapist this past week, because I’m feeling like I got what I wanted out of therapy: I’m no longer eating compulsively, and better yet, mentally, the see-saw seems to be gone.

The holidays will be a good test. I’ve gone thru them before fasting, so it’s not like I have to go nuts. But I’m trying to decide whether I’m insane for wanting to have a couple glasses of wine along with stuffing and mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. Last time I dabbled like this, it led to three weeks way off track.

I like to think that I’m better prepared now, but perhaps it’s too risky. On the other hand, what I really want for myself is to make my own choices and not have them made by either my “inner gremlin” (a la Richard Carlson) or by some internalized 12-step “parent.”

Of course, the fact that I’m even thinking about this nearly three weeks before Thanksgiving helps show that there really is some more work to be done. Stay tuned!