At the risk of channeling Dr. Phil, we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. So I think what we have to start out doing is becoming as aware as possible that there are underlying reasons for why we say one thing (I want to lose weight), but do another (overeat, don’t exercise, etc).

I did a couple of things. I finally realized that I had to do something. First, I stopped eating crap for the most part. I mean, my real problem was that I was overeating junkfood. They say that the best diet is the one that you’ll stick with, so having had years of experience, I decided that I could go a long way just by eating better. I had so little energy and was so depressed that I couldn’t handle food lists or points or anything like that, so I just started eliminating as much really useless, non-nutritious food as possible.

I’ve not committed to never having these foods again, but for now, I realize that trying to make positive changes while 1) not giving myself the correct fuel, and 2) eating substances that lead to all sorts of biochemical side effects, like cravings and low blood sugar, was a huge part of the problem.

And then I realized I had to do something so that I had an outlet for feelings that I used to overeat (see the books at the bottom of the home page right nav for the ones that I like). I also started listening to meditation music late at night…while watching TV with the close captioning (can we talk about my other problem?).

I also probably shouldn’t short-change my therapist. I saw her for a year, but I went into this with the idea that it wasn’t going to be 10 years of “so, tell me about your childhood” kind of therapy. I wanted to stop overeating. That said, I think she thinks that just the act of getting all the scary, shameful stuff out in the open was what I needed.

I’m sorry I don’t have a “tried and true” concept…or at least one that I can easily explain. I think it’s a lot like the bicycle analogy. It’s really hard to explain to someone how to ride a bike. The truth is that you just have to keep trying until you master it. But hopefully the good part about blogs is that you can hear what works for one person and see if what they describe appeals to you.

Good luck!

But, seriously, it is difficult to convey the terrible injustice I feel is being done to the average fat person who encounters a health professional, weight loss “counselor, or other interested party who offers them the same behavioral and cognitive prescriptions without bothering to examine why the impulse to eat triumphs over every bit of that individual’s intelligence, knowledge and ability. The short answer is: overeating is the LEAST anxious solution to whatever is going on inside that person, or at least, the least anxious solution that person has been able to trust. This is not, as some might suppose, an “excuse” to keep eating or a way of letting everyone off the hook, but an acknowledgement of a reality that is controlling a vast majority of the vast people.

And I love the “when I do good, I feel good” mantra too. So much that I’m working on a post about where self esteem really comes from.

I’m so glad you’re writing this blog. You must put a considerable amount of time and effort into it, and it really shows.