Comments on: Killing the angel in the house http://www.actboldly.com/2005/11/01/killing-the-angel-in-the-house/ Wed, 16 Aug 2006 13:17:33 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: janet http://www.actboldly.com/2005/11/01/killing-the-angel-in-the-house/comment-page-1/#comment-40 janet Fri, 04 Nov 2005 04:25:34 +0000 http://www.actboldly.com/?p=43#comment-40 Wow. Thank you for this interesting read! Life is a journey, and not a destination, so I can see where you're coming from that "goal-free" living might be the way to go. But it's often confusing when you're told that making and setting goals is also helpful, because it sets you up in a good, proactive path rather than living life reactively and not getting anywhere. But I agree that you don't need to find your *purpose* in life to make things change. You just need to define yourself, change perspective. Wow. Thank you for this interesting read! Life is a journey, and not a destination, so I can see where you’re coming from that “goal-free” living might be the way to go. But it’s often confusing when you’re told that making and setting goals is also helpful, because it sets you up in a good, proactive path rather than living life reactively and not getting anywhere. But I agree that you don’t need to find your *purpose* in life to make things change. You just need to define yourself, change perspective.

]]> By: Nikki http://www.actboldly.com/2005/11/01/killing-the-angel-in-the-house/comment-page-1/#comment-38 Nikki Wed, 02 Nov 2005 15:46:00 +0000 http://www.actboldly.com/?p=43#comment-38 All interesting. I've given up on the why am I fat question because it seems there is no real answer. The most that I know was that I turn to food for comfort. I haven't yet figured out an alternative for the comfort, but I've decided that food doesn't do it so I need to stop that. I think the letting yourself go is subjective and driven by society. I think the best thing that happened to me as a child was that I went to an all girl school until I was 16. The school was competitive and it was a great thing to be smart. So I shone because I was and I like/liked knowledge. We also wore uniforms and had a strict dress code otherwise, so there was no looking great for guides. Some say that uniforms kill individuality, I say rubbish. I think getting something so superficial out of the way gives you the opportunity to find out about a whole spectrum that you would otherwise ignore. As a result of this upbringing, ponytails are my mainstay. Besides, who has time to get your hair done in the morning after it's soaking from spending an hour in the gym. The gym time is for me. The hairdo would be for someone else. I certainly don't give two hoots about it. This whole thing is very complicated. So much so that they should stop trying to solve these types of problems by making sweeping generalities. I for one love myself in ponytails and with fat. I also love myself when I'm dressed up with my hair out. You cannot fix internal problems by doing something on the outside. It's like looking for your keys under the street light when you lost them in your house. Off soap box. All interesting. I’ve given up on the why am I fat question because it seems there is no real answer. The most that I know was that I turn to food for comfort. I haven’t yet figured out an alternative for the comfort, but I’ve decided that food doesn’t do it so I need to stop that.

I think the letting yourself go is subjective and driven by society. I think the best thing that happened to me as a child was that I went to an all girl school until I was 16. The school was competitive and it was a great thing to be smart. So I shone because I was and I like/liked knowledge. We also wore uniforms and had a strict dress code otherwise, so there was no looking great for guides. Some say that uniforms kill individuality, I say rubbish. I think getting something so superficial out of the way gives you the opportunity to find out about a whole spectrum that you would otherwise ignore.

As a result of this upbringing, ponytails are my mainstay. Besides, who has time to get your hair done in the morning after it’s soaking from spending an hour in the gym. The gym time is for me. The hairdo would be for someone else. I certainly don’t give two hoots about it.

This whole thing is very complicated. So much so that they should stop trying to solve these types of problems by making sweeping generalities. I for one love myself in ponytails and with fat. I also love myself when I’m dressed up with my hair out. You cannot fix internal problems by doing something on the outside. It’s like looking for your keys under the street light when you lost them in your house.

Off soap box.

]]> By: Debra http://www.actboldly.com/2005/11/01/killing-the-angel-in-the-house/comment-page-1/#comment-37 Debra Wed, 02 Nov 2005 15:34:31 +0000 http://www.actboldly.com/?p=43#comment-37 Fascinating to me that after all the inner work we do and the reasons we suppose we're fat that it comes down to the simple choices we make each day that take us in one direction or another or in circles. For me, it makes most sense that I used food to repair the structural defects in my personality, and that, having repaired those defects through an incredible amount of hard work, I struggle with the fantasies that those habits created. I enjoyed that article about not having a goal very much because I suspect there are some of us for whom goal driven lives work best, some of us for whom spontaneity is best, and most of us who have to have some idosyncratic mix of the two. Fascinating to me that after all the inner work we do and the reasons we suppose we’re fat that it comes down to the simple choices we make each day that take us in one direction or another or in circles. For me, it makes most sense that I used food to repair the structural defects in my personality, and that, having repaired those defects through an incredible amount of hard work, I struggle with the fantasies that those habits created. I enjoyed that article about not having a goal very much because I suspect there are some of us for whom goal driven lives work best, some of us for whom spontaneity is best, and most of us who have to have some idosyncratic mix of the two.

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