It’s been years since I’ve seen this side of 300. About three years ago, I clocked in at 372 on a routine doctor’s visit. And I can guarentee I gained after that, but am unsure just how high I may have gone. All in all, I think I’ve been 300+ for at least 6 years, maybe more. The upwards trend probably started in the fall of ‘98 when I started grad school (and started driving to work) and then really got going in the summer of ‘99 when I moved out of a third-floor walk up into a high rise (with elevator).

Early this year, I found a Weight Watchers scale that could weigh up to 380 lbs. When I stepped on the first time, I hoped my weight would register, though I wouldn’t have been surprised to be over 380. Given that, the reality of my actual weight — 367 — was less shocking it might have been. Frankly, I had been concerned that I’d hit the 400+ mark.

So here I am, nine months later. I weighed in this morning at 294 (rounded up). I’ve decided to figure my starting weight at 375, though I think it’s a safe bet that it was higher. Of course, fixating on a number I can never know is probably a bad idea, which is why I just gotta stop and go public with a number.

Needless to say, I’m pretty happy with 81 lbs lost. Even though I’ve had some medical problems since early in the summer, I’m feeling so much better than a year ago. In fact, I’ve caught myself a couple of times having to remind myself that I’m still really, really fat. But the difference in my quality of life is so great that I’ve got no problem with the prospect of a year or two before getting back to where I was.

As a bit of a recap, I’ve been doing my best to avoid compulsive overeating since early February, and I’ve made choosing health (over weight loss) my priority. My rationale has been that it is no mystery why I was so fat. I was abusing alcohol and eating large quantities of really crappy food. My theory was that if I could just stop overeating, I couldn’t help but lose weight. And just as importantly, I would be less of an emotional basketcase because I would no longer be doing something to myself that I was aware was so harmful.

Here are just some of the things I’ve been doing since then:

• cutting way back on flour and sugar
• cutting out alcohol
• eating high yield foods, but doing that as low response as possible (I’m cooking a bit now, but have found a number of takeout regulars that I can go to when tired, and I always supplement with additional healthy veggies)
• taking a good multivitamin
• doing the truly lazy person’s meditation: I’ve developed a habit of listening to some meditative music (geared towards healing) while in bed watching a 10PM show with closed captioning
• doing the truly lazy person’s exercise: I count anything that isn’t sitting on the couch watching TV as exercise and I get special points for being Lincoln-esque (those “when I do good, I feel good” activities like laundry and/or vacuuming)

I’ve gone off track three times since February, all of which were related to traveling. The first time I got right back on track, but the 2nd and 3rd times I was off-track for several weeks.

What helped me get back on track was having made an experiential shift towards desiring health. The bliss of short-term numbing effects of food and alcohol were tempered by the understanding of what they were creating in my body. I don’t know exactly how I got here, and I don’t know how long it will last, but for now, it just wasn’t that hard to get back on track, and it’s not that hard to stay here.

Contrast this with Oprah. Last week, she interviewed George Clooney. The show flashed to a picture of him 30lbs heavier (for a movie role), and after talking about whether or not it was fun to have to gain all that weight (it wasn’t), Oprah asked George how he lost it. He answered that it was pretty much the standard: eat less, exercise more, and commented that that wasn’t that much fun either. Which led Oprah to say something like “I hate it, I really do.”

Now, my experience may well be very different when I’m down in the 100s rather than the 300s or the 200s. Having been there before, I know I’ll have to work harder the closer I get to where I’d like to be (as of yet, I do not have a goal weight).

But one of the foundational principles I’ve been going for is that I just don’t want this effort to be painful. I don’t want to hate it. I don’t need to be giddy about it, but I don’t need to wake up every morning hating what I have to do to get through the day.

All I can say is that the more I practice it, the more I’m really finding it rewarding to eat stuff that is good for me. And if I can make it easier, all the better!

For example, here’s one of my tricks. I’m not eating much white flour, but I make an exception for couscous. It is easy to make a single portion (read: you can avoid overeating it), it has a relatively low glycemic load (around 9; under 10 is considered low), and it can be made in less than 10 minutes.

If I can find it, I use whole wheat couscous. But if I can only get regular, I pump up the nutrients this way. First, I measure a half a cup of V8 juice (I use the spicy kind) into a small Pyrex measuring cup. Sometimes I grate a clove of garlic into it, along with whatever other spices I want. I then nuke the V8 until it’s boiling, then add in 1/3 of a cup of couscous. I stir briefly, cover, and let it sit for 5 minutes. It’s good, good for you, filling, and it weighs in about 225 calories. Not too bad for about 3/4c of grain.