First, a lighter note from Judd Apatow (of The 40–Year-Old Virgin fame):

My daughter Maude was 5 when she realized that Barney had only one expression. She couldn’t stop laughing when she noticed this. She ran around the living room with this psychotic Barney smile which never changed, and then started saying, “I’m happy. I’m sad.” She laughed some more and then screamed, “Help me! I don’t know how to feel.”

Anyone with any kind of compulsive overeating issue — or even your garden-variety dieter — knows of the link between overeating and feelings. Yesterday on Oprah, Wynonna (Judd) was on to share where she was in her journey, which was “I may not be where I want to be, but I’m sure as heck not where I was.” (This led Oprah to remark that she really thought that it was probably easier to get off crack than deal with a food addiction.)

Now, if it’s not clear already, the reality is that I’m a dabbler (ref: “ENFPs often move on to new ventures without completing those they have already started”). But here are some resources that I’ve come across over the years that I think have a lot of potential to help overeaters feel feelings or manage feelings or whatever.

DISCLAIMER: I’m sure that the providers of these programs would probably hate the way I characterize their programs. Your mileage may vary!

Laurel Mellin’s The Solution

I really like The Solution. Alas, I didn’t stick with it, primarily because I had a bit of a tiff with a therapist they assigned me to while I was doing an older version of their over-the-phone course. I just checked the site, and it looks like they’ve changed things considerably to deal with the growing increase in Laurel’s programs, though us really big folks may still have to jump through hoops because of the “risks.”

That said, I really like the premise of the Solution, which they describe on their home page this way:

By mastering two simple developmental skills, self-nurturing and effective limit-setting, we naturally soothe and comfort ourselves from within. We stop needing to soothe and comfort ourselves with external excesses like overeating, smoking, drinking, spending, or overworking, or with softer excesses like people pleasing, thinking too much, or rescuing others.

I think I may go poke around again and see if it’s worth revisiting more strongly. But I would recommend starting with the books (The 3-Day Solution Plan, The Solution, or The Pathway), many of which are at your local bookstore, before diving into the more pricy workbooks and kits.

Byron Katie’s The Work

I came across The Work a few years back. Its founder came up with this approach after hitting her own rock bottom of depression and addiction. The premise of the program is that one uses her four questions to help us get past the twisted thoughts of our minds without resorting to things harmful to us.

Here are the questions:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

These are very similar to Dr. Phil’s questions for authenticity, which are:

1. Is it a true fact?
2. Does holding onto the thought or attitude serve your best interest?
3. Are your thoughts and attitudes advancing and protecting your health?
4. Do your thoughts and beliefs get you what you want?

In both cases, the questions serve as tools to help you get out of the relentless pressure to numb or escape one’s thoughts. Find out more on her website or her book Loving What Is.

The Sedona Method

I came across the Sedona Method while doing a Google search. I think this has a lot of potential. I’ve not spent the bucks yet on their seminars or audio course; I ordered the book off of Amazon from one of their re-sellers. You might find it worth paying the shipping to get their free DVD and CD.

Anyways, the Sedona Method is the flip side of Byron Katie’s stuff. Where the latter deals more with annoying thoughts, the Sedona Method is meant to deal with feelings. And interestingly, it’s not just about troubling feelings. Like the Buddhist concept of nirvana, the Sedona folks suggest that you work on your happy feelings too.

And like Byron Katie, the Sedona Method is fairly simple, but seemingly powerful. When you want to practice it, you basically do the following:

1. Ask “Could I allow this feeling to be here?”
2. Ask “Would I?” If no, ask, “Would I rather have this feeling, or would I rather be free?”
3. Ask “When?”

The steps are repeated as necessary until the feeling is worked through.

I think there is an interesting parallel with this approach and that of meditation and/or the mantra. I also really like that it is a specific, constructive way of “sitting with your feelings” (if I only had a $1 for every time some eating disorder specialist advised that).

The Sedona Method is also available as a book, though I don’t recall seeing it much in the brick-and-mortar stores.